I found a wonderful site for downloading MIDI files. After I downloaded and unzipped the files I clicked on one file while in file manager and much to my surprise my Cakewalk Express software loaded. The files were completely compatible with the Cakewalk software. This was a huge surprise to me. I can play the files, watch the music score scroll by, modify each instrument's volume and presence (left to right). Now if I could only find some MIDI files of the background music to "Charlie Brown's Christmas". I love that happy music!

You can get a free demo program of Cakewalk Pro Audio which is their best version that does everything except save programs. Check it out if you are at all interested in MIDI. BTW, MIDI stands for Musicical Instrument Digital Interface and is an interface standard.

If you are a people person then you will love biography.com.

If you love the military then you will love DefenseLink.

No one has found the correct answer for the first question in my Trivia Quiz Number 2. Even a scientist at JPL got the wrong answer! The question is:

---

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half.
How many eggs can 6 hens lay in 4 days?

---

Several people have told me that my homepage is causing their systems to crash. I suspect that it is my scrolling marquee that is doing it. Over 5,000 web pages use that feature. I wonder if they are having problems too. Anyway....I'm taking it off until I figure out what is wrong. Meanwhile, I've made a new section that contains the text of all the marquees. Thanks for the feedback.

Someone got a score of 9 out of 10 on my latest Trivia Quiz. Nice going Rusty1. That's the highest score yet on any of my trivia quizes.

I got to thinking about the MIDI sites I posted yesterday. Contrast it with the way music was heard only a few hundred years ago in our country's western movement. Some settler's never heard music unless someone passed by that had an instrument. The MIDI music is played by a marvelous combination of electronics, telecommunications and keyboard artistry (both kinds). I have a wavetable sound card and the MIDI music sounds great.

The August 4th edition of the Washington Times is now on the web. Now that's fresh news. I wish they had a stock market section.

Who is this lady? Is it Hillary or Eleanor or someone else? The face looks familiar.

I got this email about an Upcoming IRC Chat!!

---

Who: Conventioneers Anonymous
(also - Wifewater and other current events)
with DRUDGE REPORT readers
When: Thursday, Aug 1 1996 - 9 PM Eastern Time, 6 PM Pacific Time,
in between, check your watches.

Where: Our own IRC server!

Point your IRC program to the server:
rightside.clark.net
port: 6667
channel: #chat

Why: to discuss the coming end of civilization,
the GOP convention, etc.

Lock and load,
JWD

__________________________________________________
The Right Side of the Web
http://www.rtside.com/rtside/
Jeff Donels, Webmaster
e-mail: jeffd@rtside.com

---

Need a map to find your way around in this political year?

My youngest daughter, Jenny, went to Gettysburg, PA to visit her sister, Karen, who is on an archaeological dig at the National Battlefield. Karen is doing her office work in a small house on the battlefield that was used as a field hospital during the battle. There were many stories about the small house being haunted. She discounted them as myth and forklore. One evening she was working there all alone at a small desk when she heard a loud noise as though someone had slapped the side of the desk hard. The desk shook. She jumped up and looked around but no one was there. No one that was visible anyway. Many stories related to people seeing things that looked supernatural and several stories of electronic calculators giving weird results when placed on that desk.

Jenny brought her German Sheppard with her. The dog is very close to her and usually won't leave her side but when she went into that house she tried to get out as quickly as possible. She pushed the screen door open twice to run outside. They left the dog in the house when they went to dinner and when they got back the dog had freaked out. It took Jenny several minutes to get her calmed down. Something is going on there, I think....and it's not normal !!!

My three grandsons from across the street spent the night with me last night. My daughter had set off some bug bombs and didn't want them exposed to the fumes. I went to sleep in my chair while watching the Olympics and when I woke up about 11:30pm they were already in bed asleep. It was nice having little ones in the house again.

My oldest son, Terry, came by the house this morning. He reminded me that yesterday was his 17th wedding anniversary. How time flies.

I saw Armstrong Williams on C-SPAN yesterday giving a speech to a group of young college kids. He is a powerful speaker with an upbeat message. I did a quick search on AltaVista and found some of his radio conversations.

Here are some web sites I found interesting:

Just Jazz has some great MIDI files.
Here some examples I found enjoyable of blues, blues, and Bluesette.

Gus Bridges has some good bookmarks worth exploring.

The following web sites may be of more interest to the more conservative readers:

• Broken Promises
• Republican Main Street!
• The Right Side of the Web

I put a new a Trivia Quiz on my homepage today. No one got the other one completely right. The highest score was 8. Maybe there will be a winner with this one.

One of my favorite web sites was shut down by a threatened law suit. Too bad....it was a great site. You can read all about it. I found it interesting and sad.

I've been thinking of starting another section on my homepage: "What Dumb Thing Dole has Done Lately." ...............naw.......... I only have 5M of disk space for my homepage.

There's a new channel on AnotherNet called #SS_Friendship. I received this invitation by e-mail:

---

Hello all, I'd like to invite you to join us on her maiden voyage! A place for fun, clean chat, hugs, first names, typos...we are a family. We gather to celebrate our joys, and help each other in times of crisis...Just take a look at our topic..."Climb aboard for support and love!" If any are interested, please leave me a memo! :)

---

The bombing in Atlanta was a terrible, cowardly thing. My sympathy goes out to those killed and wounded.

Kajun gave me the URL for his homepage. I found the great search site he had referenced there called Web Taxi. It is a truly remarkable web site.

No one has correctly answered the following question in my Trivia Quiz:

Everyone has answered "Dole". For those of you who don't keep current with the news: Bob Dole resigned from the senate. He is no longer a senator!

The answer to Question 3 is not "Dole".

I think we should all give thanks to AOL. I know I'm endebted to them for at least 50.

The Seniorsnet Seniors On-Line HomePage has some good stuff for us old-moldy types.

If you need an icon (graphics icon, that is) The Icon Browser is the place to go. They have hundreds of icons.

Did you know that you can buy "Alien Abduction Insurance"? It pays $10 million if you are abducted by aliens and $20 million if they refer to you as "a nutritional food source".

The more I watch the British TV program called "Are You Being Served" the more I enjoy it. What a bunch of odd characters there are indeed.

I found a great list today called ONLinkS: Master Index. It's not a list of lists, or a list of list of lists. It's just a great list of web sites. The file is almost 300K long. It is completely unorganized except that it is in alpabetical order by site name.

LaBullDog gave me the URL for his new web site. It's a great piece of work. I caused my 'puter to crash before I bookmarked it. There was a great search site listed there. I'll try to find Bull tomorrow and get it again.

My new scrolling marquee about Eleanor is not meant to be disrepectful of Eleanore Roosevelt in any way. It's not her fault Hillary talks to her.

If you want to Send Electronic Mail to the First Lady she has a special web site. You have to give all you vital information before you can send one though. Slick Willy likes it better than her talking to Eleanor.

AnotherNet has an e-mail subscriber list. I subscribed and today I put an invitation out for people to participate in my 1996 political poll and Trivia Quiz. I've received several responses already. It pays to advertise, I guess.

I made some good no-fat oatmeal-raisin cookies today. They are soft and chewy. If anyone wants the recipe, just e-mail me and ask.

I found my Alma mater, Kansas University, homepage. Pretty pictures that brings back many old memories. I was graduated in 1958.

Yesterday was my friend, Shanni's, birthday. I met her on IRC when she was using the nick, Aredhead. Before that, I am told, she used "loveu". Shanni has her own hannel on Efnet called, appropriately, #Shannisplace. I visit her often late (for me) in the evening. My friends wiley1, ScotTEE and moatzi are often there too. I emailed Shanni a birthday card and she sent me this award in return. I think it was nice of her to be so considerate.

I've updated the analysis of my 1996 political poll. It's looking worse for Dole all the time.

No one has been able to get all 10 questions in my Trivia Quiz correct. You have to read the questions carefully or you will get tricked. The best score is still 80%....a low B.

Some of my
ramblings:

Rolsgrl sent me a great web site called The Tube. I spent a lot of time there exploring yesterday.

My Trivia Quiz section was put on my homepage today. I've had a few responses to my 10 trivia questions. The best scores so far are from Rusty1 and GrayFox. They both got 8 correct. There are a few tricky questions there.

GrayFox pointed out that one of my questions didn't have the correct answer as one of the choices. I'll change it. It's been a long time since I played Monopoly. Thanks.

My Internet service provider has a list of Olympic web sites.

Some of my
ramblings:
Yesterday when I upload my homepage to my ISP I forgot to change the file extension from "index.htm to "index.html". As a result my homepage wasn't updated. Sorry about that......and it was Bob Dole's birthday too!....Oh well, another goof...Dole reminds me of Joe Blitzfitz...(the sorry character on 'Lil Abner that always had a dark cloud hanging over his head wherever he went.)

Rolsgrl sent me a web site called: Internet Card Central (virtual postcards and greeting cards). It contains about 150 sites for creating and sending cards. I knew of only about 10 or so. It's amazing. I love lists. I keep looking for the universal list. The one that has a list of lists of lists of lists of lists, etc, etc, etc.

I've been working on my Trivia Quiz section. I can't get it to work. I don't know if it is me or my mail server. Give it a try and if I get any responses then I'll know it was my mail server. There are a few trick questions there so be careful. Thanks.

The Olympics HomePage is pretty good. So is the Olympics section of CNN.

Some of my
ramblings:
Today is Bob Dole's birthday. He is 73 and counting.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY "BELTWAY BOB"

I found a good web site about search engines today. It's called Webmaster's Guide to Search Engines. It mentioned a new one called HotBot but I was not able to log on to it.

Please participate in my 1996 political poll. Strict confidence. Simple, straightforward poll about who you plan to vote for in Nov.

More URLS that may be of interest:

• Windows World
• Visual Basic Homepage
• MicroSoft Homepage Gates Place
• Learnkey Windows 95 Expert Forum
• C/NET's Shareware
• The Consummate Winsock Apps List Stroud's
• Windows NT Resource Center
• Windows95
• ZD Net's Windows 95 Shareware Library

I've been on Internet about 9 months now and I finally found someone that I know in real life. He was surprised to hear from me....I guess he was adrift there in cyberspace too.

Some of my
ramblings:
In a few days I'm going to start a trivia quiz section. I hope to find interesting or trick (or both) questions that can be answered in multiple choices (None of the above will be a killer). There will be at least one obscure question that you will probably have to search the web for the answer. I'll post the names of those who get them 100% correct.

Here is an example:

How many outs are there in each inning of a major league baseball game?

Choices: always 3, always 6, usually 3, usually 6, never 3, never 6, none of the above.

Surfin' Safari provides some fine surfin'.

NBC stakes a claim on PC-TV future showed me some reasons to wait to buy a new computer.

My wife, Pat, offered me a good explaination of why most of the men vote for Dole on my political poll. She said that (even though she has never seen it) my homepage is probably so biased against Clinton that none of his supporters read it. She has a good point there.

Some of my
ramblings:
The opening ceremonies for the Olympics were magnificent. "Grits and glitz"...way to go! They were the best I have ever seen. I look forward to watching the games.

Here are the web sites by Laurence Simon that I mentioned yesterday. I was in a hurry and didn't have time to link them. Sorry.

• The Hypertext Madness of Laurence Simon
• Laurence Simon's mIRC Tips and Tricks
• Laurence Simon's Hotlist

Ernie, my youngest daughter's husband, is with the special forces unit of the Park Police. He is on a 2 week special assignment at the Olympics. He is on horse patrol. His unit is the only one from outside the state of Georgia. He has been asked to stay another week and called Jenny yesterday to ask if it was ok. She said "yes" while her heart saying "no". This is the first time they have been separated since they were married.

I think I've found my dream home. Check it out. This is the secret code to enter: 20050206. Say "old lloyd sent you."

Some of my
ramblings:
I went to my doctor today. My blood pressure was 120 over 80 and I lost another 8 pounds. Yea! I gave my URL to my doctor so I put out the welcome sign again. Hope you made it here, Doc. And please...........don't take everything I say here seriously, or you may recommend therapy. If you read this someday, Doc, send me an email to let me know how you liked (or dis-liked) it.

There are some changes to my "Oldies" section today. I added some new IRC channels on AnotherNet and two great web sites. If you haven't noticed: the sections you have visited on my homepage are printed in blue and the ones you haven't visited are in red. Don't you wonder how I know if you have visited each section?

I finally got a response from my 1996 political poll from a man who says he is going to vote for Clinton. (It takes all kinds). He said he voted for Clinton in 1992 also. At least he is consistent. I've noticed that very few people admit voting for Clinton.....wonder why?

We had a terrible storm go through Rockville, Maryland about an hour ago. Several tornados were sighted west of us and one up north toward Baltimore. Some houses damaged and two people injured. Have you noticed that trailer parks are always hit first. Must be THE divine pecking order.

My lost third or fourth cousin hasn't written back to me yet. He's the one I have never met who lives in California. He must still be in shock.

Some cosmetic changes were made to my political poll page.

The Russian mathematician Aleksandr Yakovlevich Khinchin died on this date in 1878 in St Petersburg, Russia. I found out this obscure fact while visiting the obituary page. I check there each day to make sure my name is not on the list and I missed my calling.

Some of my
ramblings:
The Devil's Dictionary was the source for my quote of the day. (I don't think he really wrote it!)

After I finished my ramblings yesterday I searched for the P38 Lightning and P51 Mustang using AltaVista (my favorite search engine of the web). I obviously found some. Check them out. There are a lot more WWII planes there.

I did some analysis of my 1996 political poll by gender. There really is a gender gap both for women and men. Women prefer Clinton over Dole (75 to 12.5%) and men prefer Dole over Clinton (90 to 0%).

It was terrible about that TWA flight that blew up. My sympathies to all the friends and families involved.

Some of my
ramblings:
The MicroSoft/NBC joint venture homepage MSNBC is full of bugs.....why am I not surprised?

Lightning struck a big red oak tree in my daughter's back yard. The tree is leaning toward her neighbor's roof and is supported by another tree. She is having it taken down tomorrow. I didn't realize how expensive that service is. She's got bids from $525 to $850. She checked with her home owner's insurance company and they said that she is covered if the tree hits her house but not if it hits a neighbor's house. If the tree was leaning toward her house they would pay to have it taken down. But they won't pay if the possible damage is to a neighbor's house. I'm glad I have an umbrella liablity policy.

My dog had fleas. She was scratching and was obviously miserable so I gave her a bath with flea soap. After we finished she shook herself and looked back at me and gave me a dirty look. She's a black lab and you'd think she would love water.

I saw on the news that a P-38 crashed at an air show recently. That is the twin fuselage fighter plane that fought in WWII. When I was a kid I loved the P-38. I'd sketch the plane and include all of the details including the rivets. I wonder how many of them are left in flying condition. The P-51 Mustang was another favorite of mine.

Some of my
ramblings:
My friend fireman1 now has a homepage on the web about fire safety. Take a look at it. It might save your life.

I spend some time today writing a few progams to analyze the data from my 1996 political poll. It's funny how quickly you forget how to do things if you don't keep active at it. Some things I wanted to do I knew were possible but I just couldn't remember the commands to use. The programming language I used was COMAL (an obscure program that originated in Denmark). You can now resubmit your vote if you change your mind and I'll use only your last input. The next time I update the poll results I'll include some fancy graphs and some analysis based on gender. It is interesting to note that no male has voted for Clinton in my poll and all except only 2 women voted for Clinton. I just can't figure that one out.

I changed my scrolling marquee today. It's about Ross Perot if you can't figure it out.

Some of the folks from Dalnet's #50+bunch have moved to AnotherNet's #50+lovingit.

I've heard there is also a new channel on AnotherNet called "#oldies" but every time I go there I'm the only one there.

Some of my
ramblings:
The MSNBC thingy is to be kicked off at 9pm EST tonight. MicroSoft and NBC have each put up $250 million for the adventure. I can hardly wait!

The Clinton/Gore 96 homepage is now on the www. You must look at it. It is a wonderful piece of work. Official Dole for President WWW Site sucks by comparison.

After I loaded the Dole homepage my computer slowed down and I had to reboot. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

I received an e-mail from an excited grandma to be. This will be her first grandchild. I'm happy for her and her fine family. My wife and I have 10 grandkids and we are always excited about another one.

Some of my
ramblings:
For those of you who have Netscape 2 or 3, you may have noticed my new scrolling marquee at the bottom of the screen. This one is about Dole. (I'm an equal opportunity insulter). For those of you with other browsers this is what it says:

---

.....Hello, George?....This is Bob calling.....Bob Dole.....You remember me.......Bob Dole.......Senator Bob Dole......well, er, I guess, actually ex-senator Bob Dole...... you know, from Washington......Washington DC......You may have heard.......I am running for president.......No, I am not a page for Clinton.....I have some questions to ask you about how to beat Slick Willy.......Yes, I know you lost....but I thought you might have figured out why you lost.....Everyone says that I am losing and I haven't even started running yet.......Yes, I know about James Carville (old serpent head). Do you really think I could get him to manage my campaign? If he would take the job...how would I know that I could trust him?...........Do you really think that Mary Matalin would spy on him for me?.............No, I didn't know she goes through his pants pockets when he is sleeping......Well, that might work......How about asking: "ARE YOU BETTER OFF NOW THAN YOU WERE 4 YEARS AGO?".......Yeah, you're right......we were in a recession then.....by the way......have you figured out what caused that recession....Yes, I know Greenspan....Well, I'll forget about that question.....What about campaigning on family values....Yes, George, I did divorce my first wife - but it was her fault....You don't think they would bring that up do you? No, George , that READ MY LIPS thing didn't work too well last time.......War hero angle....I had planned to use that but those damn democrats have already said that I got a deferment and that I was shot near the end of the war so it doesn't count. They say Clinton is a man of principle for protesting the Vietnam War.......Have you seen pictures of him when he was a hippy?......I don't know what the vision thing is either......Did you ever figure out what the h*ll they were talking about?.........Well, thanks for sharing your ideas with me George!.....My name is Dole, Bob Dole......damn it Bush!........your memory must be failing.....Oh, you say your name is George Brush?.......Oh sorry, Mr Brush, my mistake.......Can I count on your vote in November? Only 15 huh......well maybe next election then..........Goodbye......................(whew!.....that was embarassing).........

---

There is a new web site starting tomorrow called Welcome to MSNBC. That stands for MicroSoft/NBC. Did Bill Gates buy NBC? The site is up now.

I have updated the results of my 1996 political poll based on 25 votes. There are finally a few votes from some youngin's.

Some of my
ramblings:
When we moved to our house about 30 years ago, my oldest son was only 10. At that time there was a woods behind our house where the kids played. Their favorite activity was to build tree houses, forts and other impressive structures. All of the fathers in the neigborhood (especially me) had their tools borrowed and usually lost in the woods. I could never keep a nail in the house. About 10 years ago new houses were constructed in the woods and the area was off limits. By that time the kids had grown and/or lost interest in building forts. Early this spring the people behind us had a tree house built for their kids. They hired two carpenters who worked for 4 full days to construct it. It looks like a garden shed with a patio railing around it. It is placed on 6x6 posts about 7 feet off the ground. It is a nice looking sturture, painted and trimmed. The first few days after it was built I saw their kids playing with in it. Lately, they are not to be seen. What a contrast. My kids took the initiative and contributed the labor and sweat. They enjoyed their creations and played with great zeal. The "new kids" had theirs built by professionals and probably had no say in it's planning or constuction. They seem to enjoy it little. There must me a moral here somewhere. Perhaps you enjoy and appreciate that which you work for. Or perhaps, if something is given to you, you don't appreciate it.

I found this great site.... How to Get Rich Without Really Trying.

Tomorrow I will update the results of my 1996 political poll. If you haven't already participated. I invite you to do so. Some youngin's have finally voted.

You know I'm always late about learning new things about Internet. This is especially true about RealAudio. I have just learned that you can listen to live radio shows while doing other things like chatting on IRC. I even found an "old time" radio station called Yesterdayusa and listened to "Amos and Andy" (and Kingfish, and Saphire, and Calhoun the lawyer, and cousin Leroy). This station has many of my old favorite programs that I listened to as a kid. AudioNet Radio Stations provides a listing of stations that "broadcast" over the internet. Some require a 28.8k modem but most don't. I use a 14.4k and the voice is fine but the music is distorted.

Some of my
ramblings:
I keep forgetting to mention that mIRC4.52 is available now. It's too bad, but mIRC is no longer free. It is shareware and costs $10 after a free trial period.

The World Village on-line chat is really on IRC. They have there own net. To get there use the server www.worldvillage.com Port 7000. I went there around noon yesterday and there were no channels open. Later there were 2 and last night at 9pm there were 3. They have scheduled events and open chat channels. Last night it was "Storytime" where people were invited to add a continuation of an ongoing tale. Wednesday night is trivia night.

I met two youngin's on worldvillage that gave me the URLs for their homepages. You might find them interesting. One of them plays MIDI music.

• Chris Eaton's Home Page
• Brett's MOPAR Page

Some of my
ramblings:
How did you like my new introduction? Have you voted in my 1996 political poll yet?

My friend Phoxxy told me about a place to play trivial pursuits. It's called World Village. There are other features there of interest too.

Please send my your favorite things to do on the www and I'll pass it along on my homepage.

Find Stuff on the World Wide Web is a good place to find stuff on the world wide web.

At lunch time I saw a little grey bird with a black head sitting on my bird house. I looked it up in Mister Wipple's bird book and found out that it was a titmouse. What a funny name!

Some of my
ramblings:
I had occasion to visit SeniorCom today. They have a new on-line chat. I tried it for a while. It is like a primitive IRC that is all done over the www. As usual, there were a few youngin's there trying to excite the "old folks."

NancyB told me about Sierra's new software called "Realm". I'm trying to get online with it (It's free now....my price). It sounds interesting. I'll let you know more later after I've been on it for a while.

I found that Search Worldwide White Pages has a reverse phone directory. You enter the phone number and it returns the name and address. That is useful if you have caller ID with your phone.

My shower faucet has been dripping for over a year. As you may remember...I hate plumbing!!!!!!! The faucet washer finally broke and the water changed from a drip to a stream. I was forced to action. I sometimes wonder if I had a toothache at the same time I had a plumbing ememgency if I would completly freeze up and stand motionless at the door with a pipe wrench in my hand! I really don't know which I dislike more. I think I have discovered the secret.....Don't put your tools away until after you have checked to see if you have fixed the problem. It worked!!!!! No drip!!! I did have to make an extra trip to the basement to put away my tools but my wife said that was a small price to pay for not having to hear all my verbal outburts at the pipes (questioning their parentage).

On my local news broadcast they reported on the opening of a million dollar public pool in DC. The mayor complains about not getting enough money from Congress and to prove his point he fails to remove snow, leaves pot holes unfilled and cuts back on essential services. I was irrate. Later, my wife told me that the money was donated by a company. She didn't remember which one. So much for the greed of businessmen.

Some of my
ramblings:
Yesterday I wrote a letter to a distant cousin of mine named Harry who lives in California. When I was 4 or 5 we visted his dad there. About the only thing I remember from the trip was picking oranges from a tree in his back yard. In 1961 I visited his dad again when I was in California. He was surprised to hear from me and thought when I spoke to him on the phone that I was my dad. I didn't meet Harry on that trip.

My oldest daughter, Karen, has been doing research on my father's family and found that my great-great-grandfather immigrated to the US from Hanover Germany in about 1840. His wife was from Prussia. I found my cousin, Harry, by entering my last name in Search Worldwide White Pages. It also returned my name, address and telephone number and those of 4 of my 6 childern. In addition to that information,I was able to look at a map to find out exactly where Harry lives.

In my letter (which must have been a real shocker for him) I invited him to look at this homepage to find out more about me and/or to write or email me. I sure hope that he does. He is the only other living relative that I know of on my father's side.

If you would like to read some of Hillary Rodam Clinton's editorials you can read them in the Chicago Sun-Times.

Have you ever wondered about secuity and privacy on the Internet? I didn't worry about it very much. GrayFox gave me a reference that I followed up on. Here are a few of the places I visited:

• CDT Privacy Demonstration Page
• FAQ's about Internet Secuity and Privacy
• The Anonomizer
• I CAN SEE YOU

CatchPhrase is fun if you like word games.

Some of my
ramblings:
I copied all my previous jokes to the Jokes Section. I also added one sent to me by GrayFox.

If you are using Netscape 2 or 3 you may have noticed the scrolling banner on the bottom line of your screen. I hope it didn't give you a massive coronary! For those of you who don't have the later versions of Netscape. The banner scrolls across the bottom of the screen from the right to the left and says:

---

.....THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE U.S. INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE.........YOUR 1996 TAX RETURN IS BEING AUDITED........WE WILL CONTACT YOU WITHIN 6 WEEKS WITH THE DATE FOR YOU TO REPORT FOR A FULL DESK AUDIT.........FAILURE TO REPORT ON THE DATE SPECIFIED WILL RESULT IN CONFISCATION OF ALL YOUR PHYSICAL ASSETS AND MAY ALSO RESULT IN ADDITIONAL FINES AND IMPRISIONMENT !!!!!.......BROUGHT TO YOU COURTESY OF WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON..........I WANT YOUR VOTE IN NOVEMBER........BE A FRIEND OF BILL.............I feel your pain.....

---

I also added time to the bottom of this page just in case you don't know what time it is.

The "Radio Days - Comedy" page has some good Realtime Audio clips from the old time radio programs like Fibber McGee and Molly, The Jack Benny Show, etc. I had fun listening to these old shows that I remember from my childhood.

I received a nice email from Bonnie about my homepage. I tried twice to send her an email thanking her but it was returned both times. So I'll make it public....Thanks for the kind words, Bonnie.

My 1996 political poll was modified slightly to make it easier to see the poll results. Please don't forget to vote.

Some of my
ramblings:
I got the Mark Twain quote wrong yesterday...close, but no cigar.

My wife, Pat, was born in Texas. She left after only a few weeks. My dad adored her and loved to kid her about being a texan. He told her this story about the big texan who died in Kansas and no one had a coffin big enough to hold him. An old Kansan said, "Don't worry, I know how to handle these texans." So he gave the texan an enema and they burried him in a match box. Dad told her that joke at least a dozen times and she laughed each time.

Want a kiss?
Tortillas and Beans, by John Steinbeck.
Why the Web Should be Destroyed. Caution is recommended.

I moved all of my June ramblings to the June page.

Some of my
ramblings:
Tern has handed over leadership of DalNet's 50+club to terrie. Hope things work out for you OK tern, my friend.

I went to my small, local hardware store today to get a mantel for my outside gas post lamp. The store was no longer in business. What a sad, sad day. That little hardware store has been there for the 31 years that I have lived in the neighborhood. About 15 years ago a big national hardware store moved into the same shopping center. I thought they couldn't compete. But they did. The big store closed about 3 years later. The manager of the little hardware store knew what people wanted. Only on very few occasions could I not find what I was looking for. There were always several young boys there to wait on people. It was a friendly place. There was an old gogger there that always called me "young man". After 31 years I was still a "young man" to him. I didn't even have a chance to say good bye. If you are reading this you old gogger, "farewell, you ran a great shop. I will miss you." About 6 months ago a Home Depot opened less than a quarter mile from the store. I guess it was just too much competition. I must admit I went to Home Depot first. They didn't have any gas mantels.

Here are some interesting web sites that I found today:

• Nature -- Guess the Animal.
• To The Contrary Trivia Quiz.
• WACO.
• PBS Online.
• Independence Day. This is a UFO site.
• Greeting Cards by AWESOME CYBER CARDS! Send customized greeting cards. Cyber greeting cards, postcards, love notes. Hosted by cartoon cat Marlo Marmalade and dog JJ Jamm..

Some of my
ramblings:
If you missed my special Independence Day page yesterday you can still take a peek at it. Read it all. It make sense to me, even today.

I have published the interim results of my 1996 political poll. I'll keep it active until after the November election. The only analysis I have done of the poll is to note who said they voted for Clinton in '92 that will not vote for him this time (0%) and those who didn't vote for him last time that say they will vote for him this time (13%). The percents of each vote are shown on the poll page. There were 16 voters (not counting those who voted several times or Bill that somehow couldn't pull the right lever).

Most people who took the poll will enjoy the great web site by Paul Silhan. He was on C-SPAN this morning talking about his parody album of the Clintonites etal. This is just good, clean fun. It takes a long time to download but it's worth the wait. He is a lawyer and made the records in his home studio. He did all the voices and instruments.

Rolsgrl sent me this great card site called 1source - Electronic Postcards. You can specify your own graphics and use HTML in the message. I sent a card to GrayFox and he tried to send one to me but sent me back mine by mistake (I think).
Take a look at it. It shows a retirement home I'm thinking about buying.

Some of my
ramblings:

Some of my
ramblings:
Please don't forget to vote in my 1996 political poll. I got 6 votes from spokes already. They were all listed as "Male". Since he has all daughters maybe his cats and dogs are voting (I told you it was unscientific - but I do read them).

How times change:

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Old time: "yin" and "yang"
My folks generation: "good" and "evil"
10 years ago: "BAD" and "bad"
Current generation: "cool" and "sucks"

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Guide to safe FAX Q: Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A: Although married people fax quite often, there are many single people
who fax complete strangers every day. Q: If I fax myself, will I go blind?
A: Certainly not, as far as we can see.

Q? There is a place on my street where you can go and pay for fax, is this legal?
A: Yes. Many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and must
pay a professional when their need to fax becomes to great.

Q: Should a cover always be used before faxing?
A: Unless you are really sure of the one your faxing, a cover sheet should
be used to ensure safe fax.

Q: What happens when I incorrectly do the procedure and fax prematurely?
A: Don't panic. Many people prematurely fax when they haven't faxed in
a long time. Just start over; most people won't mine if you start again.

Q: I have a personal and business fax. Can transactions become mixed up?
A: Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but as long as you use a cover with
each one, you won't transmit anything you're not supposed to.

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Breakthroughs in Health and Fitness is his homepage and Recipe's from Dr. Gabe Mirkin's Fat Free Clinic look interesting. He also has a book out called "Fat Free - Flavor Full". I did an AltaVista search on him and got over 200 references.

I like theFATFREE: The Low Fat Vegetarian Archive for a source of good recipes.

Some of my
ramblings:
Today is Chocholic's 47th wedding anniversary.

I found another great web site called Mega Bite's Top 10% Cooking Sites. This one has many other sites listed.

Some of my favorite free subscription sites for good food and health info are:

• To subscribe to eat-lf, send mail to: eat-lf-request@lists.best.com. In the body of the message, place (lower case, no indentation):

  subscribe

• To join the FATFREE, send an email to: fatfree-REQUEST@fatfree.com with the Subject: subscribe

• To join Kitmailbox go to KITMAILBOX.

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Subject: My REAL kitchen disaster
From: old_lloyd
Date: Sun, 30 Jun 1996 19:02:46 -0400 (EDT)

A few years ago I was awakened from my afternoon sunday nap with a shout of "Fire!" from the kitchen. Still half asleep I ran to the kitchen and saw that my wife had been fixing french fries in an open pan on the stove. She had gotten distracted and the oil had overflowed onto the stove and was on fire. I grabbed some hotpads and moved the flaming pan to the sink. The flames promptly set the kitchen curtains of fire. Now I had two locations of fires to contend with..one on the stove (flowing down the cabinets to the floor) and the hot oil and curtains ablaze near the sink. Still half asleep, I decided to put out the fire in the pan because it was directly under the kitchen faucet. Of course when I turned on the water and it hit the boiling hot grease, it exploded all over the kitchen. My hands, face and eyes were burned with hot grease. In spite of the fact that I could hardly see, I put out the fire and rushed to the shower while my wife called 911. This happened in the winter. We had just had a rare 15" snow storm and the streets were nearly impassable. However, the ambulance and 3 fire trucks arrived shortly and I was taken to the emergency room where I was treated for burns. Grease had gotten into my eyes but fortunately I completely recovered. The moral of the story is: "Smoke Get's In Your Eyes" is OK......but hot grease sucks!!!!!!!

This is all funny now for I knew better but just wasn't thinking clearly.

old_lloyd aka oh_lloyd aka ah_lloyd

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A county medical examiner (ME) was being cross examined by a slick city lawyer regrading the wrongful death (murder) of on the county's citizens. The defense lawyer was trying to prove that the ME was incompetent.

"Did you sign the death certificate?", the lawyer asked.
"Yes" was the answer.

"Did you check for his pulse to make sure that he was dead at the time of your examination?"
"No."

"Well, did you check to see if he was breathing"?
"No."

"Did you run an electroencephlogram to make sure there was no brain wave activity??
"No."

"How then, could you pronounce him dead without doing the basic tests?"
"Well, his brains were in a jar on my desk. He may be practicing law someplace for all I know!!!!!"

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Some of my
ramblings:
I have put back the Favorite Recipes section because of popular demand (someone asked for one, actually).

Yesterday, I found out that with Netscape Ver3.0 you can

To my canadian friends:

I also found that some one by background colors and transparent gifs weren't working with this new version of Netscape. Anyone have any ideas why?

Here is a good web site for information about the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta.

Only a handfull of people have responded to my 1996 political poll. Come on, let me have your vote. Like they say in Chicago, "Vote early and often." Many people there have voted more often after they died than while they were alive. In Baltimore in the 1992 election there was one precinct that had more votes than there were registered voters! Now that was a remarkable turnout.